Not Even A Proper Goodbye
by Coralina Liew
Summary: *Takes place between The Last Olympian and The Lost Hero* Maybe Reyna and Jason were meant to be. Maybe they weren't. Who knows? This is just the story of Reyna's feelings for him, and vice versa.


**Reyna**

"_Oh, but you will develop feelings for the one you trust the most." Venus's smile unnerved me. A smile lit up her face when I shivered involuntarily, as if seeing me nervous amused her. _

"_What do you mean?" I asked, both fearing and braving the answer. _

"_A boy." Venus's emerald eyes seemed to sparkle in the darkness of the cave. "You will learn to love him, but he will never return your feelings. Ah, I do quite enjoy interfering with the tragic lives of mortals." Those cherry-red lips twisted into a smirk._

"_I don't want to fall in love," I protested, sounding ridiculously like a petulant child._

_She suddenly seemed to lose interest with me, and turned to the two thin slabs of obsidian where, in between, lay a dagger still in its sheath. _

"_The ασημένιο μαχαίρι (silver dagger)*, to say so in Greek." Venus shrugged dismissively. "You want it, right? That was what your quest was about. Take it. Take it back to your golden-haired Prince Charming. But heed my warning, young one. _Do not look into the blade until you reach the safety of solitude. "

_But I didn't. I didn't heed the warnings of the Goddess of Love. For the first time in my life, I looked past the premonitions of gods and looked in the blade. Then I vowed to myself that I would never, ever again defy them._

The silver dagger lay in my hands now. I turned it over and over in my hands, watching its smooth surface catch the sunlight and sparkle. Jason would call me foolish to play with weapons. But I knew better.

Every time I looked into the blade, I saw him. It was always him – his military-cropped dishwater blond hair and electric blue eyes that seemed to spark thunderbolts in them. Him, with electricity at his disposal; him, with the sound of my name on his lips.

That painful conversation with Venus was still burning at the back of my mind. _He will never return your feelings, _she had said.

_Never? B-but…_

_But I love him._

Tears automatically sprung to my eyes as soon as I finished that thought.

I quickly wiped them away, fearing someone was spying on me in my chambers. _I will not cry for a lost love. I will be strong. If he won't love me back, so be it. We will continue being partners - friends. I will not let this ruin our praetorship._

"Reyna!"

His voice snapped me out of my thoughts. His smile was as regal as ever when I turned from my balcony to him.

"Today's the _Vinalia Urbana _festival. You remember, yes? We should go now. The High Priest is waiting for us at Venus' Capitoline temple."

"Yes… of course I remember." I stepped down and allowed myself a small smile. "Let's go, Jason."

**Jason**

The excitement in my expression must've dimmed quite a lot, because her brow furrowed slightly. "What's wrong?"

"You look like you've been crying, Reyna. Is something wrong?" I put a comforting arm around her shoulder, trying to reassure her. Apparently she took it the wrong way and slapped my hands away.

"It's nothing." Her tone came out bitter and sharp, but her slender fingers still moved to rub her red-rimmed eyes again.

I stepped away. "I'm sorry that I interrupted you today. Perhaps we could take a walk around New Rome first; how about we visit the Garden of Bacchus? Should I call for Argentum and Aurom?" _When in doubt, talk to the daughter of Bellona about her greyhounds and architecture. You're so smart, Jason. _My worry for her increased when she just scowled.

"I said I'm _fine_, Jason. Come on – Rome's higher echelons do not wait for two late praetors." She strode towards the double doors of her chambers purposefully.

I hated it when she did that – closed off her feelings, refused to deal with them until another day when it could no longer be avoided. I wanted to hold her in my arms and take all her pain away; never let anything hurt her, ever. I wondered how she could be so blind to how much I cared for her.

_Girls are impossible,_ I thought to myself.

###

_After the _Vinalia Urbana _festival…_

"I really want to know why you keep doing this, Reyna – I want to help you! I want to take all the weigh on your shoulders! I know I'm not as good in praetorship, but is it really so hard to let someone console you for once? I hurt when I see you hurt…"

"It's not your business, Jason," she said, almost angrily.

I forced myself to keep calm as soon as I heard the thunder strike. "I'm sorry," I apologized sincerely, "I just want to understand all that you keep inside, because it hurts you. I can see it. Everyone can, except you." I took her hand in mine. "Please help me understand."

**Reyna**

"Gods, just shut up, will you?!"

As soon as those words left my mouth, I regretted it. Jason's face turned an ashen grey.

But it was too late to turn back now.

Before I could see his expression contort into one of pain, I turned around and walked away.

I was so, so tired of trying to make him understand. How could he so blatantly see through the feelings I showed for him? I hated myself for falling in love, for becoming so vulnerable. It made me an emotional wreck, and that wasn't what I was supposed to be.

I had to be strong. I couldn't always be strong, but I had to. For my people; for New Rome. Even for him.

###

_The next day…_

I could sense something was wrong the instant I woke up.

I ran down the hallway, not bothering to change into my formal praetor wear. It was just sunrise and no one was around Camp Jupiter. Fifth Cohort was empty except for Frank Zhang and Hazel Levesque, who were sitting on a bunk and talking quietly. They looked up when they saw me come in and bowed in respect before returning to their conversation. I merely nodded in acceptance and hurried towards Jason's room.

Without bothering to knock, I picked the lock on his door and pushed it aside.

The room was empty.

His bed was made. His eagle medal was still lying on the top of his dressers. The purple cape he so often wore was hung up in his wardrobe neatly.

Tears were threatening to fall from my eyes now.

_Oh, Gods, what have I done? Has he left camp because of me?_

I looked up, seeing dry lightning crack across the dawning sky. For a moment I thought I saw Juno in the clouds, and then Venus's warnings once again echoed in my mind: _"Oh, but you will develop feelings for the one you trust the most." "You will learn to love him, but he will never return your feelings."_

And then I just couldn't care anymore. I fell to the ground, crying in bursting sobs. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Hazel and Frank stare at me, shocked, then helped me out of the room.

I could only form one last coherent thought before I drifted back to sleep.

_You didn't even give me a chance to say a proper goodbye._


End file.
